When I approached this topic, I was originally going with the idea of what my editor had suggested, in that if gay marriage is now legalised, should polygamy follow suit? This is probably going to be an article based on my own personal views of relationships, so I apologise if you disagree with anything I’m about to comment on. I’d love to hear your views though, so feel free to get in touch with me and discuss it.
For those of you who don’t know, the difference between polygamy and monogamy is simple: in a polygamous relationship, you are able to have more than one husband/wife, and in a monogamous marriage, it is strictly between two consenting parties, with the understanding that it is just the two of them. Just to be clear, there is a difference between an open relationship and a polygamous marriage. I’m not speaking about open relationships in this article. I’m going to throw this out there: I wouldn’t personally enter into a polygamous marriage myself, but I do not judge anyone who would. If it works for you, you’re happy and you’re not hurting anyone, then I say live and let live.
There has been a copious amount of ridiculously created arguments against gay marriage since it’s been legalised. “If we allow the gays to get married, what’s to stop a father marrying his own son?”, “If they get married, what’s next? A man wanting to marry his gerbil?” Aside from the fact that these questions are completely unrelated to the notion of two consenting adults entering marriage, it also damages the ideology of the gay community. There are still some closeminded people out there who believe these are legitimate reasons to keep gay marriage illegal. But in saying that, we cannot forget that gay marriage, once upon a time (and not even that long ago) was unheard of and illegal all across the world. To think how far we’ve come as a community, you do have to ask yourself “What’s next?” – which is where I think we need to take a look at acts such as polygamy.
More or less across the world today, it is illegal to enter into a polygamous marriage, except for a handful of countries in the Middle East, and even less so in predominantly Muslim populated countries. In a lot of cases, it’s actually a criminal offense to enter into one. I was actually surprised to hear that whilst doing my research. I think in a lot of cases, society still has quite an archaically religious view of marriages; a marriage should be between one man and one woman. I guess I can kind of see where they’re coming from (if they change “one man and one woman” to “two consenting adults, regardless of gender” anyway.) But I don’t think it should be a criminal offence to enter one if you and your partner/s are consenting.
This is what I don’t understand; there are all kinds of marriages, no matter your own views on them. In Sex and the City 2 (a brilliant movie, by the way; don’t let the horrendous reviews put you off watching this.) Carrie and Mr. Big talk about having the luxury of their marriage just being the two of them with no children, so they can design it any way they see fit. Of course, they’re not talking about bringing anyone else into their relationship, but in a world where we are constantly changing, adapting and evolving, should we really be telling people how to run their own marriages? Shouldn’t we allow people to create their own rules? You could argue that if we allow people to constantly change the ideology of marriage, we will ruin the sanctuary of it, but you know what? It really won’t. If you do not want to have any one else enter your marriage, then don’t let them. This is more or less the same argument we have for gay marriage; if you don’t want to marry someone of the same gender, then don’t! But don’t let your personal views and/or beliefs stop someone else from being happy. Don’t forget, this isn’t an open relationship. This is a marriage, so as much thought as you put into your own marriage will undoubtedly have gone into theirs. It is still a contract they will not have entered into lightly.
I’d like to hear what people think about this. Is allowing polygamy to become the norm going one step too far or should polygamy be legalised? Is it something you’d consider or are you very much a one person lover? Let me know!